Everybody knows that first dates are kind of the worst, especially now that our first interaction is usually through an app. This means that when we walk into the restaurant or bar to meet for the first time we never quite know what to expect regardless of how much prior stalking we did.
Towards the end of the summer I was talking to this guy who I wasn’t super interested in but thought I would give him a chance in person hoping he was more interesting face to face. Some people just don’t like to text so I was hopeful that he would be a better conversationalist in person. So we set up a time to meet at a coffee shop near both of us. I spent most of the day leading up to the date debating canceling it, but it was really nice out that day and the coffee shop was located within walking distance of the lake so I figured if we were really struggling to converse we could at least walk to the lake to have something to do.
So I get to the coffee shop and he had said he was already there, so I looked for him out on the patio and didn’t see him but saw this guy that kind of looked like he could be this guy’s older brother or uncle or something. So before I got too close I pulled up Hinge to double check his picture before I introduced myself to the wrong person…..Well while I was doing this, I didn’t notice that he had seen me and he came up to me to say “Hi” and most definitely saw that I was checking the images. It was very obvious that he had used older photos because in person he looked about 10 years older than his profile pictures, but I rolled with it and we found seats on the patio.
Starting the conversation was suuuuuuper painful, so I was thankful that I had brought Ellie along with me because she helped break the ice a bit. Then he asked me to tell him in detail what I do for my job every day. Now it’s not weird to talk about our jobs on the first date, but when I gave him a brief overview of what I do, he stopped me and told me he wanted to know exactly what I do and how I do it. I just kind of laughed and I was like “is this a job interview?” to which he responded “kind of”, and then I asked him what he did, which he didn’t want to answer but turns out he’s a freelance web developer and his clients always ask him to do SEO but he doesn’t know anything about SEO so he can never charge them for it. This made me feel super weird, like maybe he had just wanted to meet to get industry insight or maybe I had accidentally accepted a coffee date with a LinkedIn contact not a Hinge match. I tried to continue the conversation along by moving into the whole “getting to know you” questions but this seemed fruitless as I was already deciding to tell him “I just don’t want to be dating right now” after the horrible date.
Finally, the barista comes out to tell us the patio is closing so I asked if he wanted to walk to the lake. He was like “well I don’t really like walking but I guess we can” (who doesn’t like walking?). So we start walking and get like a block away and he says “You know what I’m not really feeling this so I’m just going to go”. Inwardly I was annoyed because like you’re not feeling this, dude I haven’t been “feeling this” since I walked up to the coffee shop! But I just said “That’s ok! Thanks for meeting me!” and then I continued to walk towards the lake as he left. I called my friend Bailey as soon as I was far enough away to make it look like I didn’t know he could still hear me and loudly proceeded to tell her how terrible the date was.
Honestly that date couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes but it was also the most painful 20 minutes I’ve ever experienced on as first date. I would rather get an IUD put in again (also a painful 20 minutes) than ever go on a date like that again.
So I guess the lesson learned here is that if you’re having a hard time with conversation over an app, it’s probably not going to be better in person. AND also don’t let your date see you checking their profile when you’re meeting them!